I haven't seen your face in eight months and it isn't getting any easier. I miss you like hell and I'm so sorry for everything.
May 2012
129 posts
I don't want to be happy. Thats my 'deep dark secret'. Whenever I feel anything close to happiness I become disgusted and angered with myself. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I just feel like I don't deserve it. I don't think anyone understands just how much I don't like myself or how at a loss I am on how to change or feel worthy enough of happiness.
I just randomly get sad sometimes. I don't mean to, but I just do. I'll feel happy inside but then when someone asks me something or just talks to me, I get all mad at them. It makes me cry for no reason at all and I wish it didn't happen. I'm scared I'll just get and at the people I love and lose my relationship with them.
I miss you. Hope you're still alive. Don't go away but don't come near. I can't handle it. "Lights."
Even though my ex cheated on me twice and constantly made me feel like i would never be good enough i still feel that she is the love of my life. ill never find someone like her and i hate that i still love her... but i know ill never stop,.. shes moved on, but i dont know if i ever will
I'm finally happy on my own.
We had something for half a year and then I slept with him and he stopped talking to me. I don't believe he used me, he isn't like that. But it's killing me slowly and ruining all my relationships since, the not knowing. I just want to know what happened to us.
I wish my mother loved me unconditionally.
I live half a world away from my mom and I miss her so bad. It's been 2 years since I last saw her and every now and then I dream that she's gonna pass away before I get to see her again. I just hope that my dreams just stay as dreams.
my mother's overprotective, judgmental nature was one of the main reasons that i started cutting, but it was her saying my senior year of high school that she hugged me after my graduation saying that she was proud of me no matter what i looked like, who i was sexually attracted to, or how i "labeled" myself that made me stop. to this day, my relationship with her has been a bumpy one, but i'll never forget that day for the rest of my life
Two nights ago, I took a kitchen knife to my wrist. I didn't press hard enough to draw blood, but I raised a few scratches. Tonight, I did the same thing in the bathroom of a friend's apartment. I have no idea why I'm doing this. I've always prided myself on being so strong and independent, but lately I feel like nobody in my life truly loves or needs me, and that breaks my heart. I just want somebody to tell me that I am important to them, that I've made a difference in their life.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm afraid of my future. I'm so scared of becoming miserable, that I didn't see that I already am.
Call for a good time, 303-941-5841. I'm such a man slut.
I am pregnant with my first child. My Dad is going in for heart surgery and he left me as his medical decision power of attorney if he is unable. Today is also the anniversary of a friend's death and I am $2000 in debt. All I want to do is curl up in someone's arms and have them mean the comfort they are giving. The one person who should, resents me for being upset. I need help.
I wish people knew how serious my disease was. It doesn't jut limit my diet, it limits my options in life. Even though I know I don't want to, I could be unable to have children. I could develop certain cancers and have neurological problems. People just laugh at me when I tell them I can't eat pasta or bread or so many other foods with gluten. They don't know that it could be killing me if I mess with my diet. Right now I'm depressed just wondering about it but I can't stop thinking.
I'm holding on to what little love we have with everything in my power. I know we're perfect for each other and I just need you to not be so scared to admit that this might be different.
I broke up with my boyfriend and I've never been happier!
It's not that I don't want you to see me naked, it's that I don't want you to see my scars.
In response to: "I'm sixteen, and in the past four years...". I'm 17 and have been in a similar situation to you, in that I experienced extreme depression and loneliness. I attempted suicide last year by overdosing on meds. Fortunately, the dosage was not quite enough to kill me. I'm so thankful now for the life I have. Consider those who love you and care about you. It may be hard for you to think of at times like these, but please give life a chance before you give into death. Be strong.
In response to: "My fiancee can't help himself...". You deserve to be happy. If you haven't tried already, I would suggest talking to your fiancee. It's unfair that you have to stand aside while he flirts with other women. Whether the flirtation is intentional or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is that his actions are really affecting you. I don't mean to impose, but I suggest that before you marry, please ask yourself if you can withstand this kind of treatment the rest of your life.